Trust In A Relationship

Most of us have had to deal with jealousy at some point of time in our relationship.

Jealousy, in small doses can boost your relationship by making you see how desirable your partner is. But when one lets it become an all consuming envy, it can spell trouble for your relationship. If not kept in check, it could well be the end of the road for you and your partner.

Jealousy occurs when one feels that something important is being threatened. It is natural to become attached to a certain person. But when this emotion becomes excessive, problems arise. Even more so when it is unfounded. This often results in the person you care about being driven away - the exact opposite of what you wanted to achieve in the first place.

In some cases people have a valid reason to be jealous — for instance, if one has had a partner cheat on them in the past or even if one's parents were not faithful to each other. In such cases, jealousy is the byproduct of fear of such an event repeating itself, and is not unnatural.

Fear, insecurity and low confidence in oneself are the main culprits. When one feels that they don't deserve their partner they start looking for a reason to back this feeling up. They put their partner on a pedestal and are afraid that they will be abandoned if their partner ever walks out on them.

This destructive emotion benefits no one. It isolates the person who is feeling the emotion by making him/her even more suspicious and resentful. The other partner too finds it difficult to continue a relationship with someone who is so suspicious all the time and this often drives them away.

If you have a history of troubled relationships and are constantly insecure, you might need to take stock of your relationship. Here's how to deal with the issue:

Do you feel like you are on a much lower level than your partner? That they are too good for you and could easily leave you for someone else? In this case, you first need to work on your own sense of self-worth. Your partner cannot resolve your esteem issues. This is something you will have to handle yourself.

Does your entire life revolve around your partner and the things the two of you do together? If so, you need to get a life outside of your relationship. Explore other hobbies, make new friends and make time for existing friends and for yourself. Such 'you' time will ensure that your partner does not feel smothered with you.

While mild jealousy is normal, excessive jealousy is problematic and its time you faced up to it. If you have become obsessive and extremely possessive of your partner, it shows a lack of trust in the relationship.
Talk things over and consider getting professional help like couple therapy. Evaluate your relationship and see if it is really right and good for you.